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Bullying – addendum

October 15, 2012

The way I wrote my earlier post – earlier today – was a bit aggressive.  Sorry about that.

What I meant to say and will say now is – If you are having trouble standing up for someone who is being bullied, please write about it and maybe we can support you to be able to do so in the future.

I also meant to say – If you have been or are being bullied, please let this small community (this blog and those who read it) know what we can do to support you.  If someone you care about has been or is being bullied, please feel free to share your experience, concerns, thoughts etc. with us.

As I used to tell my kids “Being kind is the most important thing.”  Let’s support each other to be kinder.  Thanks.

  1. I was bullied throughout my entire school career. I was undiagnosed autistic and was labelled “ugly” (even though, looking back, I wasn’t) and “weird”. I spent as much time as possible in the medical room, pretending to migraine or period pain, so that I wouldn’t have to face the classes in which I was bullied the most.

    I am intelligent and articulate – and yet I flunked most of my exams and was too scared of further bullying to go to college. I then experienced bullying in the workplace at two different jobs; I was sacked from one because I was overheard saying that I’d leave if the bullying idn’t stop, and I resigned with immediate effect from the other.

    As a teenager I would look in the mirror and want to smash the glass. I would scratch my face and wrap tights around my neck in a bid to strangle myself. I cried every day and most nights. I wanted to die.

    I was constantly kicked, punched, tripped, spat on… and was even pushed down the stairs at one point. I was always ill and now realise that this was caused by anxiety.

    I became very aggressive and was often in trouble for attempting to defend/protect myself. Even the headmaster would tease me mercilessly and I was sent to a child pdychologist because of the temper I’d developed because of what was happening to me. I vented my pain out on the hockey pitch, the badminton court and in swimming galas (I wa a semi-pro swimmer for my town and county). I used to cut chunks from my hair if I wasn’t trying to tear it out by the roots, and I became anorexic. I maimed my dolls, and used Nivea Cream to grease up the mirror so that I didn’t have to see my face properly.

    I beg anybody reading this to think again if they are picking on somebody. You may not mean any harm (I discovered years later that much of the “bullying” was meant as a good-natured joke – but I couldn’t see that because of my autism) but somebody else is crying somewhere because you’re “having a laugh”. Somebody wants to die rather than face you every day.

    It isn’t funny. Bullying damages those of us that survive – for the rest of our lives.

    I identify strongly with Amanda Todd, and wish I had known her so that I could have protected her somehow.

    • Thank you very much for sharing. It must be painful to describe those experiences. At first when I was reading what people did to you, I was horrified and thought of the bullies as “others”. At the end of your comment, you reminded me that anyone can be a bully and it doesn’t have to be physical abuse. I do not have autism but have never been very good about being teased. I don’t think you or I have misinterpreted teasing. Even if we have. If it is obvious that we don’t like it, people should stop. Let’s all be a little kinder today. Thanks again for sharing the effects of bullying with us. It is important for us all to know how devastating are the results of bullying.

I look forward to hearing your thoughts!

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