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August 23, 2012

Today a co-worker and I were discussing hope.  We both were experiencing some anxiety about a couple of children we serve.  In my case, I find myself feeling optimistic about this child’s future for the first time in a long time.  It was almost easier for me when I was pessimistic and was busy raising all the concerns I had about why things were not going to work out.  Being hopeful and optimistic is scary which I find a bit weird.  Maybe when I believe that a child is going to have a good life despite the odds, I worry that I will be viewed as a fool.  Maybe when I believe that disabled people can have good lives, I am scared that if that one person doesn’t then I will lose hope for everyone.  Maybe I want things to work out well so badly (and against the odds) that I worry that I will be devastated if things don’t go well.  That feels selfish.  What are my feelings?  If the child’s life isn’t going well, it is the child’s feelings I should be worrying about.  I don’t have answers but I would love to hear your thoughts about hope (with or without the associated fear).

I am going to stay hopeful despite my fears.  Maybe my hope itself can be one of the many factors that do contribute to this child’s good life.  What do you think?



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