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Hope

August 23, 2012

Today a co-worker and I were discussing hope.  We both were experiencing some anxiety about a couple of children we serve.  In my case, I find myself feeling optimistic about this child’s future for the first time in a long time.  It was almost easier for me when I was pessimistic and was busy raising all the concerns I had about why things were not going to work out.  Being hopeful and optimistic is scary which I find a bit weird.  Maybe when I believe that a child is going to have a good life despite the odds, I worry that I will be viewed as a fool.  Maybe when I believe that disabled people can have good lives, I am scared that if that one person doesn’t then I will lose hope for everyone.  Maybe I want things to work out well so badly (and against the odds) that I worry that I will be devastated if things don’t go well.  That feels selfish.  What are my feelings?  If the child’s life isn’t going well, it is the child’s feelings I should be worrying about.  I don’t have answers but I would love to hear your thoughts about hope (with or without the associated fear).

I am going to stay hopeful despite my fears.  Maybe my hope itself can be one of the many factors that do contribute to this child’s good life.  What do you think?

Sheila

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